Embrace a Leadership Mindset with
Choose the Handle That Holds: A Guide to living, leading and owning the moments that matter
A strong leadership mindset isn’t just for the workplace—it’s the key to living with purpose. Choose the Handle That Holds shows you how to lead yourself first, navigate challenges with resilience, and make every moment count.
Here’s the truth: leadership isn’t handed to you with a job title, a corner office, or a trophy. It’s not about managing others or fitting into someone else’s mold. It’s built in the choices you make every day—how you show up, face challenges, and own your moments.
In Choose the Handle That Holds, Becky Schmooke dismantles the myths that make leadership seem out of reach. Through her own candid stories, humor and lessons from professional athletes, military leaders, media executives, and others, Schmooke proves that leadership isn’t about power; it’s about small, intentional choices that lead to big impact.
More than anything, leadership is the difference between merely passing time and truly living. Grounded in timeless Stoic wisdom but refreshingly relevant, this book is packed with tools like SAFE and STOA to help you navigate life’s challenges, make meaningful decisions, and live with purpose. Don’t let this book collect dust on your shelf. Use it as a guide you pick up again and again whenever you need clarity, confidence, or a reminder that leadership starts with you.
Whether you’re leading others, building a strong foundation for your family, or striving to make purposeful choices, this book will remind you that leadership starts with how you live every day.
What people are saying about Choose the Handle that holds:
“Choose the Handle That Holds is a powerful, heartfelt guide where Becky Schmooke shares leadership wisdom that sticks—practical, authentic, and built to last.”
Captain Brett Crozier, US Navy Retired, Author of Surf When You Can: Lessons in life, leadership, and loyalty from a Maverick Navy Captain
What a delightful book! Becky Schmooke is a fresh new voice elevating Stoic wisdom for those striving to live life with wisdom, courage, equanimity, and joy - circumstances be damned. Read it. You'll be better for it. I know I am.
Ned Johnson coauthor The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over
“Becky gets real about the challenges of leadership, making it feel both attainable and deeply human—a must-read for those who want to lead with authenticity and courage.”
Kellie Wells Brinkley, Olympic Bronze Medalist, 2012
“Becky’s insights offer a fresh perspective on the importance of valuing process over outcome, making this a must-read for athletes and anyone seeking a more meaningful life.”
Nate Kaeding, Nine year NFL Alum and Entrepreneur
“A perfect synopsis on redefining success, with inspiring and relatable stories that cheer you on to be the best version of you!” — Julie Durr, Philanthropist and Director of Employee Relations, Heartland Express
Julie Durr, Philanthropist and Director of Employee Relations, Heartland Express
“Choose the Handle That Holds is a powerful blend of personal insight and timeless wisdom. Becky’s authentic storytelling and practical tools inspire readers to face life’s challenges with strength, adaptability, and purpose. This book isn’t just a guide—it’s a catalyst for meaningful change.”
Deidre Merritt, Managing Director of Leadership Development for the NCAA
Leaders featured inside the book who have mastered the leadership mindset:
Brett Crozier– Retired Navy Captain and commander of the USS Theadore Roosevelt. Author of Surf When You Can: Lessons in Life, Loyalty, and Leadership from a Maverick Navy Captain, one of my favorite leadership books. Click to Order
Makeda Mays Green– TV Executive and Producer. Learn more HERE.
J.J. Johnson– Owner/founder of Sinking Ship Entertainment, director, producer, writer (Shows include Odd Squad, Dino Dan, Dino Dana, Annedroids, and Jane. Learn more HERE.
Jordan Harbinger, creator and host of the Jordan Harbinger Show, as well a recovering lawyer. Learn more HERE.
Patrick Flood, lieutenant colonel, US Army, Special Forces (Retired) and founder of the nonprofit, Owners in Honor. Learn more HERE.
Dr. Jamil Northcutt, founder and CEO, Strategic Transitions Advisors, LLC, sports executive, former athlete. Learn more about Champion Ventures Partners and Strategic Transitions Advisors.
Dr. Jonathan Fisher Author of Just One Heart: A Cardiologist’s Guide to Healing, Health, and Happiness. Learn more about his work in addressing physician burnout and book HERE
Captain Eric Sinn, United Airline captain. Read my viral post on Facebook that inspired me to include his story in this book, HERE.
Bobby Okereke, linebacker for the New York Giants.
Don Yaeger, Professional Speakers Hall of Fame inductee, New York Times bestselling author, host of The Corporate Competitor Podcast. Learn more HERE.
Harrison Phillips, Defensive lineman and captain for the Minnesota Vikings.
Michael O’Brien, Author of Shift: Creating Better Tomorrows and Shift: How to Prevent a Bad Moment from Turning into a Bad Day and host of The Kintsugi Podcast: Stories of Connection. Learn more HERE.
Deidre Merritt, Managing Director of Leadership Development at the NCAA. Learn more HERE.
Allen Hopkins, Executive Director of Black Players for Change. Learn more HERE.
Carl Francis, Executive Director of Communications Strategic Partnerships. Learn more HERE.
Les Pico, Executive Director of Player Engagement, Minnesota Vikings. Learn more HERE.
Kaitlin Zarecki, Senior Football Operations Manager, Special assistant to the general manager and head coach.Learn more HERE.
Ned Johnson, Author of Self Driven Child: The science and the sense of giving kids more control over their lives. Learn More HERE, and founder of Prep Matters.
Paul Taylor, Speaker, Podcast Host, Author of Death by Comfort: How modern life is killing us and what we can do about it. Learn more HERE.
Dan Tallman, Executive Director of Acceptance Recovery Counseling. Learn more HERE.
Soul Cole, NFL Legend, Mental Performance Coach, Certified Breath Coach and Sound Healing Practitioner. Learn more about his work HERE
Meet the Author
Becky Schmooke (pronounced “Smoke”) is a speaker, coach, and founder of Stoic Edge Consulting and Becky’s Mindful Kitchen. In her book, Choose the Handle That Holds, Becky challenges conventional ideas of leadership. She makes the case for leadership as a lifestyle not a job title. It’s through embracing a leadership mindset that we are able to live life instead of merely passing time.
Becky’s approach blends Stoic philosophy, modern science, and candid storytelling to equip individuals and teams with practical tools like SAFE and STOA, helping them lead with confidence and purpose. Over the past decade, she has worked with children, corporate leaders, first responders, healthcare teams, and the NFL, earning a reputation for her relatable style, empowering everyone to own the moments that matter.
Becky lives in Iowa with her firefighter husband, three daughters, fifty chickens, ten goats, and two dogs. Her life is never dull, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Frequently Asked Questions:
When does the book come out?
The paperback and ebook is available on Amazon in February- sign up to be alerted when it goes live to take advantage of the ebook deal offer.
Signed books are arriving in March. If you choose to do a pick up instead of having me ship it to you, I will be contacting you with pick up date options!
Will there be a digital or audio book available?
The ebook and paperback will be available on Amazon the second week of February. There will be an ebook deal available to those who order in February.
The audio version will be available this summer!
Will the book be available on Amazon?
Absolutely. Once the book has been sent to the printer, I will be able to upload the book file on Amazon. Estimated date: February 16th.
Will there be a book launch party?
Yup! For those local to the Iowa City area, there is an option for a package that includes a ticket to the onsite party. Those are limited due to space but if there are other local bookstores (both local to me and to you) who would like to host an event, let me know!
Will there be a book tour?
I plan on creating a book tour based on locations where the most number of books are sold and where there are organizations that want to host a stop. If your company/organization is interested in sponsoring a stop on the tour, contact me below!
I will be updating on the book tour stops both on social media and in the emails you receive by being part of the launch community.
What is Stoic Edge Consulting?
Stoic Edge provides customized leadership consulting and executive leadership coaching to those who are driven be elite at all that they do. I have realized that many organizations say they want leadership training but in reality it is just a ‘check the box’ item for them. If that is the case, I’m not the right fit for you. From professional athletes to corporate executives, I work with those who are ready to do the hard work of being a leader because they understand that is how you live a life truly lived.
Learn all about Stoic Edge Consulting and how I can be of help to your organization and team at beckyschmooke.com.

Thank you, truly, for your support. This book has become so much bigger than I ever could have expected because of all of you.
I love interacting with all of you on social media too, your comments and messages mean a lot to me. The links to follow me are below if you want daily stories on creating a leadership mindset, mindfulness, kindness and videos of baby goats!
So, once more, with truly an open heart —thank you. Please share this page with others and never hesitate to reach out!
♥Becky